You and I are the same. On a surface level we both love the same things; we love music, we love extravagant dresses and makeup, we both like rock and roll, fancy suits, the color red and many other things I can't even begin to name. But deep down we are very similar as well. I relate to you your words of wisdom, I know that in your songs, even if you don't know me, you are speaking to me. Your songs resonate so much with my feelings it's kind of unbelievable. It's like you got them right out of my mind.
Even if you're dead I'm still questioning some things about how good you really were. Are you really who you said you were? I know Aladdin Sane was just an act, I know Ziggy Stardust was just an act, but was David Bowie an act too? Have I been mindlessly following and idolizing you when all of you was just a persona on a stage. But if I’m just like you, am I also only acting? When I lose myself in your music I start thinking about the kind of person I really want to be, how good I want to be, how I want people to see me even if most don't even care about who i really am. I guess that's just a thing I still have to understand about myself. But it's so hard when there's no one to truly trust with this page.
What if we’re not really the same, and everything is just an invention of my imagination. When you were writing “Heroes” were you thinking about the impact it would have on millions of people? I want to be like that. I want everyone to remember me in my best moment, even if it was a melancholic time for you, it still managed to imprint its message into thousands of peoples minds and I just think I am not capable of doing that. What if nobody likes or cares about my art? What if it's not good enough? What if it doesn't resonate with enough people? What if it just gets lost to history?
In Rock’n’Roll Suicide, you talk about the hardmanships of your career, about your problems with addiction and how it all came down together to make you who you are right now. I haven't gotten to that point in my life just yet, but I hope I will soon because as much as I dread a happy and healthy and victorious life, in reality it's hard to see a future like that in a world where not even you trust yourself.
So, dear dead David Bowie, thank you for helping me understand some of the most complicated things about my mind, thank you for letting me know i'm never alone, even when i feel like i am, thank you for showing me that if i learn to trust myself i can finally let people know how good of a person i can really be.